There is no truer statement to describe my current paradoxical phase in life. Over the weekend, we celebrated Stella being with us for four months now. Since growing our family, I feel as though things are literally moving in fast forward.
I'm wanting more time together as a family but also always seeking time to complete the simplest of life tasks alone. I want Stella and Vera to stop growing so fast but then I also eagerly look forward to each new milestone. I want my girls to experience life outside, with friends at parties, family gatherings and other social commitments but then I also feel so busy sometimes that I think maybe I just need to turn this car around and keep them at home for the day so I can actually get a good look at them...because tomorrow each will most certainly look and act differently.
There have been a few other times in my life that I felt things were moving too quickly. Looking back at these life stages I realize they were the best of times in my life. I had this feeling the year that I got married. Adam and I dated for five years and when we finally married I was also completing a masters degree in reading and education. I loved what I was learning and I loved spending my spare time with my best friend. It didn't matter that we lived in a 500 square foot apartment on a fifth-floor walk-up, we were simply having a lot of fun in our everyday life together.
Then there have been times in my life when things felt far too slow. Like the year my father died. I can vividly remember days within that year that were simply too long. I remember one particular day, I went to the gym twice and I don't even really enjoy working out. I remember I couldn't wait for bedtime to come so I could just start over. Now I fall into bed without a spare moment and most certainly have no less than ten things left on my ongoing to do list from the day. So I suppose this fast-forward phase with young children, though chaotic, is a good thing. Actually it's a great thing. I may not be able to savor every single moment with these precious babies or stop and smell the roses as everyone tells you to do. It might look more like constant corralling and a full-on frenzy but it's a phase in life that is far too short and one that I will remember forever.